Mud, mud and mud

Another open letter to my dog:

Dear Brenner:

Kindly explain to me how you, the only dog who sleeps  on my bed, are somehow the only dog able to find the mud in the yard? Three dogs go out, relatively clean and mud-free, and two come back in the same condition. But you…you come back with blackish-brownish mud “socks” on. What is up with that??


Do you have some sort of secret plan to push me over the edge?

Do you love the “rain shower” shower head in the master bath so much that you plot ways to get in there? (While showering with you is certainly one of the highlights of the Mud Season, it seems like you could have waited a week or two before jumping four-feet-first into the mud. The equinox is barely over, for crying out loud.)

Even if I didn’t have a calendar, I can tell that Spring has arrived, right on schedule. Your feet are muddy and the faint odor of eau du chien humide wafts through the house.

While I am busy brainstorming ways to keep your feet clean (do they make wellies for dogs?), kindly limit your traffic inside to the non-carpeted portion of the house. I’m sure this is a major inconvenience for you, but trust me — we’ll all be happier in the long run (remember how the “SpotBot” scares you?).

Wishing you (and me) clean Doodle Paws,

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