Vocabulary words.

Thought I’d try a different spin on Wordless Wednesday. I’m calling it “Narrative-Free Wednesday.” It’s up to you to fill in the blanks.

Baby rabbit (n): in wildlife lingo, a kit. Alt: a small brown animal with smallish ears and no cottontail to speak of, that is infinitely interesting to dogs and causes mild hysteria in small children who confuse it with a mole, rat or other rodent. See also living dog toy that makes horribly sad squeaky nosies when surrounded by the mouth of a dopey Goldendoodle.

Pachysandra (n): a perennial evergreen plant used as a ground cover. Alt: a perfect place to build a rabbit nest — close to the house and nearby to friendly canine neighbors.

Golden Retriever (n): a breed of dog historically developed to retrieve shot waterfowl such as ducks during hunting and shooting parties. Alt: a great family dog that enjoys retrieving, but not necessarily returning what is retrieved when commanded to do so. Also: the maternal lineage of the Goldendoodles referenced below.

Poodle (n) : A breed of dogs originally developed in Europe as hunting dogs, and regarded as the second most intelligent breed of dog after the Border Collie (and before the German Shepherd). Alt: great family dog that enjoys looking at its family like they’ve lost their minds when they suggest dog related activities such as “fetch.” Also, the paternal lineage of the Goldendoodles referenced below.

Goldendoodles (n): mixed breed dogs, hybrid crosses between a Golden Retriever and a Poodle. Alt: any of a species of big friendly dogs who enjoy snuffling through pachysandra, with the personality of a party boy and the looks of a happy college coed, but with a confused hybrid of traits from their parents which contradict their supposed ability to retrieve and their so-called intellect. Also, see Dietarily Indiscriminate.

Children (n): sons or daughters of human parents. Alt: those that raise the alarm that “the Goldendoodles have caught a ‘rat’ and are playing with it outside,” with the accompanying distress noises and hand-wringing that are appropriate for such an occasion.

Mom (n): (a) a female parent (b) a woman in authority. Alt: She who is tasked with grabbing the Goldendoodle’s head and commanding “Drop It!” several times (to no avail) before prying his slobbery mouth apart and setting the living dog toy free. Also: She who is brave enough to relocate the object out of the invisible fence line where the frat boy goofballs will not encounter it again.

Instinct (n): a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse or capacity. From the Latin instinctus meaning impulse, from instinguere to incite. Alt: The behavior of the family dogs which was discussed at length at our breakfast table this morning.

‡ All definitions from either Merriam-Webster or Wikipedia. (Just realized how hilarious that is: from one reference-source-extreme to the other!)

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7 Responses to “Vocabulary words.”

  1. liz Says:

    Oh no!!! Poor rabbit!! And poor kids and poor you, too.

    I love how you told a story without really telling it.

    Do you read Joann at Laundry Hurts my Feelings? She has 2 goldendoodles, too. Er, are hers labradoodles? Either way, she refers to them as horses.
    liz recently posted..Completing the Trifecta

  2. Alyson Says:

    I was totally singing The Circle of Life in my head as I’m rescuing this poor creature….and the kids are all, “it’s dead it’s dead it’s dead” and I kept saying, “not yet,”…

    I do read Joann — her posts about the havoc those “horses” can cause crack me up!

  3. MKJ Says:

    This post wins the MKJ Award for most creative way to describe the horrific demise of a baby rabbit. One suggestion to really pluck the heartstrings. Define “adorable” as a modifier for “baby rabbit”.

    Sadly I had a similar experience only the dog breed was beagle and it was a nest of eyes still shut newborn bunnies. Luckily it was years ago when my eldest was a toddler so I did not have to explain anything over breakfast. But, I do feel connected to your pain, revulsion, & rationalisation.

  4. Sherri Says:

    Oh No!! If you could have seen my face when I “got” it…..love how you told the story, kept me involved for sure! Those canine faces are priceless.
    Sherri recently posted..Id Like to Thank the Academy

  5. Alyson Says:

    Good idea about “adorable,” but there was nothing adorable about the poor thing by the time I saw it. It was intact, but really covered in dog saliva and clearly it had had enough!

    Another morning in paradise, and no sign of baby anythings….this is good news indeed.

    Looks like there’s a thunderstorm moving in, to which I say to my Doodle boys, “Karma, gentlemen. Karma.”

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  7. dog receiver collar Says:

    An invisible dog fence employs a special radio operated collar and a tucked underground wire around the perimeter of the residence to keep your dogs in check.

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