I, also, am too pretty. And “too” other things. Like smart.

OMG. I can’t stand it. Sorry for the Valley Girl-esque opening (is it still Valley Girl? If you use the initials?) She’s done it again. That HotMess who made the NY Times a couple of weeks ago is back opening her pie hole and saying stupid stuff. Have you seen this? Go — read it and come back. Quick.        So. Are you as amazed at her stupidity as I am? And are you, as I am, so jaded as to be almost without capacity to be as fully snarky as necessary to even write about her? And are you, as I am, wondering why I’m even wasting key strokes writing about her?

“I’m too pretty to be in jail. I’m a good person. I’m not a criminal and I will never go back there,” the “Jersey Shore” star said.


“I don’t know why people take it so seriously,” the 22-year-old said. “I had a couple cocktails, and they just put me in a drunk tank to sober me up,” because “I was on the beach,” Snooki explained. ” It happens to the best of us, you know?”

Hmmmm. I do, in fact, consider myself to be “the best of us” and I don’t recall seeing Snooki at the monthly meetings, and nor have I ever found myself in the “drunk tank” after spending the day at the Jersey Shore. I would remember both of those things, and quite clearly too. Call it one of my peculiar foibles, but I work hard to avoid public drunkenness, the drunk tank, and police involvement in my expression of good times and good livin’. I’m just odd like that. And seeing as I’ve just come home from a week at the beach (albeit NC, not NJ) without any sort of criminal record or public drunkenness (not undertaken, and therefore not caught), I must again refute the suggestion that the best of us will have such a problem. (Actually, I believe it’s in the Best of Us charter, that public drunkenness — and your subsequent arrest — get you thrown out and your dues are not refunded.)

As for the “too pretty” assertion….again I say, fish in a barrel. She sets herself up for this, for crying out loud. Did she not read the NYT description of herself? Honestly, someone get her a copy of the paper. Or a mirror. HotMess.

UPDATE! Another Einstein from the Jersey Shore cast was arrested yesterday, on a couple of outstanding warrants. (The saddest thing — for me — is that the warrants were “unspecified” but rumored to be about unpaid parking tickets and there was no stupid statement about the best of us, or whatever. Rats.)

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10 Responses to “I, also, am too pretty. And “too” other things. Like smart.”

  1. Amy Says:

    Let’s see…saw foible…hot mess 2x…and snarky. : )

  2. KLZ Says:

    I saw you at the best of us meetings, but I thought we weren’t supposed to disclose membership lists. Regardless, that hot mess was not there.

    Maybe there’s a separate best of us list when you’re in the drunk tank? Because really, don’t you want to be high on the food chain there?
    KLZ recently posted..Get Out- Squatters but Continue to Pay Me

    Alyson says:

    True dat. Or whatever the kids are saying now.
    Reminds me of a birthday card I have on file, waiting for the appropriate recipient: “Being known as the ‘fun one’ of the group is a good thing. Unless you’re in prison” (Inside “Happy Birthday. Avoid prison.”)
    When’s Snooki’s bday??

  3. Cecelia Winesap Says:

    With those large glasses and the large nose peaking out from under the large glasses, she reminds me a bit of Squidward from Sponge Bob Square Pants.
    Cecelia Winesap recently posted..College Analysis Crap

  4. Liz Says:

    OMG it’s unbelievable the levels of stupidity some of the recent reality tv stars are sinking to. At least it provides the rest of us with entertaining things to discuss though.

    Playing WOW again….saw hotmess twice, snarky and foibles
    Liz recently posted..Morning Routines

  5. liz Says:

    i think that photo of snooky with the cops is the most flattering one yet.

    why, you ask?

    because she doesn’t have that huge poodle pompadour on the top of her head!
    liz recently posted..I Curse You- Shel Silverstein

  6. Anne @ A JD + Three Says:

    Hot mess, foibles and snarky. Man, you are on a roll.

    By the way, I think that whole show is dumb. Really dumb.

    Alyson says:

    I’ll take your word on it — I’ve never seen it. Which I suppose makes me judging a book crappy tv show by its cover, but….

  7. Jennifer Juniper Says:

    Haha.. I second that entire post!! And I’m not sure what its called now, but I don’t think its “valley girl”.

    From the Word Up Yo! Scavenger Hunt – two hot messes (though you probably could have used that a whole lot more as its the ultimate definition of Snooki), foible and snarkey.

  8. Lou Says:

    Snarky, hot mess, and foible. 😀

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