The things I resort to…
is not The Enemy. There is no need to bark at it — uncontrollably and with great ferocity — each time you look out the home office window. For one, it scares the hell out of me while I am trying to read Important News (Prince of Persia reviews, “Man Crosses English Channel with Helium Balloons”) and two, it’s been there all damn day. If it were going to eat us, it would have done so by now.
No, our New Orange Friend has arrived in anticipation of getting started — one of these days, when the Powers That Be in the Township grant us permits — on our summer building project. For the next couple of weeks, it will be living here among us.
In anticipation of that, please recall the lesson we just had, whereby I sat here
and said stupid things like, “C’mere boys! Come see me! Come smell our new friend! It’s okay!” in a dopey, sing-song-y voice. We’re all friends here now.
Unless it were to start up on its own and advance toward the house growling ominously, please reserve your Urgent Barking Activity to the wild turkeys, small squirrels, and oh yes, the FedEx/UPS/USPS trucks driving by.
P.S. Feel free to growl menacingly at any Township inspector-types you see. And by growling, I don’t mean rush them in an uncontrollable mash of licking, loving Doodle. Your cooperation is appreciated.